26) Give me your heart, my son,
And let your eyes delight in my ways.
27) For a harlot is a deep pit
And an adulterous woman is a narrow well.
28) Surely she lurks as a robber,
And increases the faithless among men.
The focus of the battle is the heart
Solomon says, “Give me your heart.” He knows, and he longs for his son to know, that the fight for sexual purity will be won or lost on the battleground of the heart. (Proverbs 6:25; 7:25) It will not do merely not to sin outwardly, with the body and in the flesh. We can be, to all outward appearances, clean and circumspect, but still be overrun by sin in the heart. We may refrain from outward acts of sin, but in our hearts be eagerly desiring to sin such that we are consumed by our wants. Solomon knows the battle is for the heart, so he focuses his son’s attention on the real issue and priority in life.
My focus on my heart must be voluntary
Solomon begs his son to give his heart. This yielding of the heart (to God) must be entirely voluntary; it cannot be out of compulsion or external constraint. Rather, because I know what God requires and what is good for me, both in this life and in eternity, I choose to give my heart to God. I am not simply trying to be respectable or good to please other people or even to comply with some laws or expectations forced on me. I desire inward purity because I know God gazes deep into my heart, and because I want to protect my conscience from defilement, from screaming pain, and from draining regret. I make a free choice to take my heart and to point its desires, not at pleasing myself or in drenching myself in the readily available showers of illicit sexual pleasure, but to keep my heart dry and to give myself to God.
My eyes are the gateway to my heart
The point is not what the eyes see, but what the eyes delight in – what they settle upon, feast on, and drink in. Solomon calls for his son to choose (“let your eyes delight in”) to let his eyes find their delight in the ways of God, the ways of holiness, the ways of purity and not the ways of the world or the ways of his sinful flesh. This is not to deprecate delighting in legitimate sexual pleasure (Prov. 5:15-19) for these pleasures are not excluded from “my ways,” the ways of holiness.
There is a close connection between the eyes and the heart. Job makes a covenant with his eyes not to gaze upon a virgin (Job 31:1) knowing full well that the danger is that his heart will follow his eyes (Job 31:7) and the result may be that his heart will be enticed by a woman (Job 31:9). Sexual temptation begins with the eyes, but the pipe from the eyes to the heart is very short, and the heart quickly is touched by what the eyes are drinking in and delighting in.
God calls me to delight as well as denial
Solomon does not call on his son to retreat into asceticism and the denial of all pleasures, but rather he beckons him to find positive delight, with all his heart, in the ways of God and of righteousness. God created all the trees of the garden and directed Adam to eat freely of any of them. Except one. So God withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly (Ps. 84:11).
Three solid reasons for purity of heart
The “For” at the beginning of verse 27 points us to three very good reasons why Solomon is urging his son to exercise control over the cravings of his heart.
The first reason is that the loose woman, a “deep pit” and a “narrow well,” represents a fall and a trap for the eager participant in her amorous adventures.
A deep pit and a narrow well. Both figures convey a drop into an abyss, a sharp decline down a precipice where descent is easy but the return trip is far more challenging. The descent into fornication is easy, effortless, pleasurable and rapid. But once you have plunged into the deep pit, returning to level ground is not so easy.
Many are hurt by the fall. And all will find it very difficult to climb out again.
A sexual fall is enslaving. He that commits sin is the slave of sin. (Jn. 8:34) Once you have acquired a taste for those delicious, forbidden pleasures, you will not find it so easy to go without.
A sexual fall opens the eyes. Like the serpent promised Eve, “in the day you eat from it, your eyes will be opened…, knowing good and evil.” (Gen. 3:5) Your eyes will see evil and temptation where before you were innocent and oblivious.
The second reason is that “she lurks as a robber.” This is shocking, isn’t it? You thought she would give pleasure, not take something! You are the fool. You had it all wrong all along. She is a robber. She will rob you of innocence, of a good conscience, of the ability to enjoy legitimate sexual pleasure, and of the freedom to delight in God and good without defilement and regret.
And the third reason is that she “increases the faithless among men.” Every man who engages in illicit sexual liaison breaks trust with someone. Always with God, who designed us for purity and holiness. Perhaps with your wife, who is one flesh with you and who trusts you to remain wholly committed to her. Perhaps with your children, who look up to you and who expect you to show them how to live. Perhaps with other Christians, who count on you to be an example to their children and to uphold the spotless name of Christ that we bear. Perhaps with some unbelievers who look to you to back up your words with actions and to demonstrate to them that Christ really does change lives.
Adulterers and fornicators are always faithless, trust breakers, men you cannot count on.
Solomon gives us these three critical reasons why we should be pure in our hearts and with our eyes.
O Lord, I would give you my heart. I want to hold nothing back. You know how readily I look and how quickly I want and how vulnerable I am to fall. Keep me by your grace and your Spirit, for only by your Spirit can I give you my heart.
